Goals, Setbacks, Progress, etc....

**Disclaimer:  This post is entirely for me... something to look back at later**

I've mentioned plenty that Ryan and I are pretty active in keeping a fit and healthy lifestyle.

We eat well, and lead active lives, as well as working hard towards our fitness goals.

Ive been discouraged and dealing with a lot of aggravation over my lack of progress in this area.

Some of it is my lack of mental power... "I can't"  "I'm too tired"  "It's too heavy"...

and some of it is real... I have a pinch in my lower back that is causing me lots of grief, as well

as a very weak/unstable left shoulder I can't quite seem to correct.

I get frustrated with Ryan, simply because he doesn't suffer the same setbacks or barriers, which is entirely displaced and not at all valid.  He eats cleaner and more consistent than I do... he works out harder and more frequently than I do... and he's got a crazy amount of mental toughness which pushes him to keep going even when he doesn't want to.  So it shouldn't ever surprise me when he looks like a million bucks and consistently makes gains.  

It's easy for me to see my flaws, my inconstancies, and my lack of forward momentum... but I'm trying.  Lately, I've done a few things that have helped my perception of myself... I've hit a couple Personal Bests, I've looked in the mirror and SEEN change, and I've spoken with a few people that have been brutally honest with me and told me things that maybe I just didn't want to hear before. Or maybe heard, but didn't believe and couldn't process.  

Basically... I'm good.  I'm doing enough.  I can't continue to beat myself up for moving forward slower than someone else... 

because I'm still moving forward.  I'm still better than I was before.  

My fastest run... I've done only a handful of runs this spring, and surprised myself
with my pace during this one.  I was exhausted and happy when I finished!

Not sure what is going on with my hair

*I was practicing my cleans - 95lbs, nothing heavy, just working on technique*

*Ryan urged me to try a 20b increase and I was really upset because I missed it.

I nearly cried with frustration, but he kept me collected and I dropped a little

weight, but still PR'd by 10lbs... Not pretty, but managed a 225lb deadlift.*