Trying

Do you ever have those days that you just feel like you want to throw your hands in the air and say "Whatever".  Just... Whatever.

Yesterday was supposed to be a good day.

A day of love and fun with my babies.

Time for us to do some fun things, visit Santa, ride some rides, and laugh, 

and enjoy each others company, and ... and... and...

and... it didn't happen.

I've now had 24 hours and 2 glasses of wine to buffer my emotions, so I'll 

keep this as short and to the point as I can. 

(but this is ME, we're talking about...)

Basically... the morning started out a total mess and somehow, the day managed

to go downhill from there.  Try as I might, I couldn't get them to understand

what I was asking.  I couldn't get them to do as they were told.  I couldn't keep

my temper and patience in check after the 13th time of "No, we aren't leaving yet,

please stop asking about seeing Santa, and riding rides, and getting presents...."

We almost didn't go.  Honestly.

I called Ryan in tears.

"What do I do?  If I don't go, then I'll disrupt a very short lived tradition and I will be 

disappointed.  I was so looking forward to spending some time with them doing a fun activity.

 But if I let them go, I feel like I'm just negating every thing I just said, and am rewarding 

bad behavior."

We went.  And through Santa, they did well.

I had hope that the day might turn around yet.  

Wrong again.

All in all... the day left me with such a feeling of disappointment I had a hard time

coping with it.  I was past the point of angry at my children, I was just really sad over

the good memories that didn't happen on a rare day I get to spend with them.  

I questioned if I was being a good parent.

Am I doing enough teaching about being kind, and giving of yourself?

Do I expect too much of them?  Do I expect not enough of them?

I'm trying.  Trying to be the best mother I can be to my girls.  Raise them into intelligent, 

independent women, with deep and compassionate hearts, that offer up light and laughter

simply for the pleasure of passing it along.

As I think about tomorrow and the meaning behind Thanksgiving, I think about what

to do throughout the day.   The only conclusion I've come up with, is that I will wake up, say a 

prayer, and try and forget the bad day that happened 2 days ago.  I will try to give them both

a little more insight into being a kind and respectful lady. I will try to have an extra dose of

patience stored up for the whining that will undoubtedly happen.  

And I will love them.

No trying needed there.

Working through it

So, it's been a weird couple of weeks.

I had surgery the day before Halloween.

Nothing major, and overall supposedly simple procedures.

But honestly... It was a little tougher than I was anticipating.

I thought I'd be back up and running in a week, maybe 2.

Well, Thanksgiving is next week and I'm still not 100%.

So, I'm behind.  And a little stressed.  And kinda grouchy.

Ryan is gone for the weekend hunting and I'm fighting that

feeling of wanting to be irritable and bitchy.  

I tried checking things off my To-Do list... 

glad it's done, but didn't improve my mood.

I tried taking a run... felt good (although cold), 

but my annoyance came back when I saw how slow my pace was.

SO....

I'm putting up Christmas decorations!

Yep!  If anything can perk me up, it's some holiday decor

(complete with a little Christmas music!)

The girls are having quiet time, so I can unpack and organize

my treasures and they can help me set them out when they wake up!

And I did find a photo while finishing a photo task this morning.

One that stuck in my mind and prompted me to think about a few things. 

Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than

as you think it should be.

A quick trip to Wisconsin

Last weekend we made a quick trip to Wisconsin.  

It's been far too long since we've spent time with Papa, so we loaded

up the truck, hounds too, and off we went.

My dad and Ryan made quick work of a small project.

And by small I mean.... 

The girls found great joy in traipsing around picking up sticks, 

and getting short rides behind Papa's trailer.

It was really a very enjoyable visit and it always feels so good to spend

time with family.  The girls love being there, and are anxious for the 

next time we make the trip!

We Love You Papa!  

We then made the short jaunt over to our friends and spent the night there.  Playing a few games, relaxing by the fire, and enjoying some good company! 

Elle was learning the rules of SORRY!

We took a lovely morning walk on Sunday. The girls loved walking through the woods, and climbing on the trees.  We had one short fall from a branch that resulted in a split lip, a few tears and we were on our way.  (Elle is our tough girl!)

The other little mishap was that Lila, in all her oblivious glory, was tearing around in the woods and plowed full bore into a swampy muck puddle!  She was quite distraught as she was stuck in the mud up to her shins, and I know it wasn't very motherly of me... but I couldn't help but laugh my butt off!!!  Especially when I pulled her out and she only cried harder because I tugged her out and left her shoe behind in the muck!  Hahahaha!

Fortunatley we were close to the cabin, so a quick outdoor strip, a change of clothes and we were good to go!

It was a great trip, although short!  Can't wait to be back there!

Abbey

This little cutie was such a good sport!

The weather was crummy... super cold, windy, and drizzly

but her bright personality (and lipstick) made for a great shoot

anyway!  She was so much fun, it really was enjoyable!

Ortners

Through the last month, I've done a handful of photo shoots for a variety

of folks.  I've held off on posting them, as life got busy (as it always does)

and I was unable to take the time to figure out how to separate actual

photo sessions from our personal blog.  

So... sorry, but they are just going down in the regular blog roll.

Moving on...!

I met with this family on a very lovely day.  We were expecting lots

of wind and not so great weather, but were pleasantly surprised with 

how it turned out!

The youngsters weren't exactly up for pose n' shoot, but what little 

boys are?!  I got some classic expressions, and a little documentation

of how life really is!  It was so fun to spend some time with this

family.  Mitch, Amber... your family is lovely!  Thanks for making

the drive in and letting me capture a glimpse of your life!

Happy Halloween

This year, Halloween was pretty low key for our family.

We did some pumpkin carving on Monday night and the girls

got to pick out the faces they wanted for their jack-o-lanterns.

The girls were with my mom and Alan from Tuesday night to Thursday

while I was laid up with some medical stuff.  Ryan stayed home and took

care of me, then we drove over to my parents, got the girls dressed up,

and Daddy took them around the neighborhood near my mom's and

loaded up on all the goodies!

He said they were like pro's this year!

No coaxing needed (maybe a reminder to say "Thank you" now and again),

but overall, had this whole "Trick or Treat" thing down pat!

They made quite a haul and were excited to come back and show

me all the sugary and chocolaty treasures they had acquired!

Thank you Mom and Alan for helping out so much.

I'm so glad the girls were able to do some celebrating of the spooky day!

Our busy little bee, and "Izzy" the pirate (from Jake and the Neverland pirates)

They thought handing out candy was almost as much fun as getting it!

"hey mom.... can we go yet?"

The best close picture I have... she was WAY too distracted to pay attention to mom.

They had a great time... therefor, it was a successful Halloween!